Why do we fear things that are NOT innately scary?
I was passing a funeral... and I started thinking, as people are apt to do when we think about death. At some point, in the hopefully far off future, we will cease to exist (at least in this realm...). Nothing we created or had not created will matter to US. It's like shaking an etch-a-sketch and then throwing it away. That is what is! That is the final reality of it all.
We get to play in this world once, and when it's game over, we're done. We may leave a high score but, that really has no significance after we're gone. In fact, nothing is significant to an individual, it may FEEL that way but when it is done, that's it.
So, why do we fear simple things like human interaction. Like freely talking to people randomly. Rejection? Confrontation? Discomfort? Really! Every powerful growth that has occured in your life has most likely come from some relationship & every unrealized plateau is from isolation, avoidance or disconnect that you have created or accepted.
I have a deep fear of first contact, and this fear either keeps me quiet, makes my conversations awkward or I over talk in an effort to GET them to GET ME before my time limit is up.
I lose my charm. I am told, by my friends, that I have a charm or at least an interesting way about me that most people enjoy. BUT this fear either obstructs this flow or I move quickly away from connecting so I do not have to participate in the dance. If I am the jester or the MC, I am not personally involved, so I can be very charming, helpful and NOT involved.
How silly!
I am much better than I have been...
BUT there was a time, be it brief, when I had experienced a powerful EGO presence. I was working in an amusement park. I had been hired as one of the 8 street performers for the park... a CLOWN! As an 18 year old, still in high school, performing in a huge amusement park, it was powerful to feel like an accomplished and acknowledged performer. I started walking up to random woman and introducing myself and talking them up and asking them out. I HAD NEVER DONE THIS... asked out a girl, REALLY, just seemed like they wouldn't be interested? But in about a week I had talked to 11 girls (I was 18, so I was a boy) about having a date and 7 had enthusiastically accepted. And the others were fine and flattered. This was amazing to me, friends would dare me to speak to woman and I just did it! No issues! No Concerns! No Expectations! Just Boldness and Bravado and a big SMILE!!! It was GOOD and lasted less than 3 weeks...
There was a really BAD experience during a date that traumatized me for YEARS (I guess still today...) No death or Injury but it really DASHED my world at the time, shocking me back into a state of perpetual apprehension.
Now I've been in relationships and a 10 year marriage since BUT I have never felt that relaxed and open to put myself out ever since... And I always wonder what my world would have been if I just continued in that playfully cocky direction....
But I digress (duh... it's me)
THE POINT OF THIS BLOG WAS...
What am I/we scared of? None of these petty concerns will make a difference the moment after demise... So why do these nagging neural pathways have such a hold on us? Why? That is the question 97% of the world wrestles with.
No comments:
Post a Comment