Tuesday, September 15, 2009

*** GIVE ***
















Watch it animated on youtube

I took some acting courses over the weekend, thanks to my AMAZING friend Will which had a profound effect on me.

The idea of removing the NEED from my intention is SO powerful. Even the need to see if they are happy with what I have given them.

ALL THERE IS, IS TO GIVE!
GIVE FREELY...
GIVE SERVICE...
GIVE COMFORT...
GIVE ASSURANCE...

TO THEM!!!

When you can remove ANY YOU out of the equation, there is a profound energy that you have. That energy, that authentic presence of caring about the other is communicated before you ever utter a word. AND it is so appreciated. People are so guarded in life because there is so much THEY need and so many people approach them with NEED energy that they just close up, trying to keep the little that they have!

These people will look at you like you are from another planet, a planet they want to move to. There will be a true appreciation of you and a fascination on who this GIVING person is.

And ya can't fake it... at least for any length of time... Cause they will be looking for the chink in the armor... and they will find it.

And if ya fake it, YOU WONT ENJOY IT OR ENJOY THE AUTHENTIC JOY THERE IS IN IT.

So... Give... and when/if you feel the NEED... Catch it and KILL IT!!! Eventually, you will be giving without NEED and when you are NEEDLESS... That is when you will authentically GET!

:)

Watch it animated on youtube

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Frustration is YOUR FRIEND!!! Give it a HUG and don't let it go!!!


Frustration is hesitation pushed to where it transforms into anger. Push harder, transcend, break through & act or continue serving your sentence.

~Samwise

I am on a lot of caffeine at the moment and PUMPED so forgive the rough edge!!!

I have an acting teacher (Acting classes have become a new source of profundity in my life) who says, "people come to him and say that they are frustrated about their careers" and he says "the problem is, you are NOT frustrated enough, if you were, you'd get off your ass a do something!!!".

WOW!!! This is a fascinating thought. I am so NOT prone to PUSHING the upset! I usually try to channel the energy into a more progressive, nurturing, engaging, responsible...

FUCK IT... I'M FRUSTRATED AND I REALLY NEED TO PUSH THOUGHT IT!!! Not passively aggressively wimp out! I really do believe in moving into a positive space and all that BUT NOT at the expense of dissipating the natural energy of PASSION!!!

There is an underlying truth to frustration, there is SOMETHING that SEEMS WRONG!!! Now, I have learned that anything you are UPSET about, you COMPLAIN about, is really smothering something that is GOOD! Something that you are driven nuts about because it is NOT happening, or IS happening... so you get angry! You find yourself whining to others or yourself, stewing in your sour juices...

BUT there is a use for this energy, it can actually be used for a purpose, it can be channeled to get your ass in gear... IN FACT IT MUST!!! To calm down is to disrespect that GOOD!!!

REMEMBER, there is GOOD under that seemingly bitter icing!!! NOW, figure out what that GOOD IS AND KICK IT'S ASS INTO GEAR, RUN TOWARD THE THING THAT'S SEEMS TO BE "BAD" and GO BERSERKER RAGE ON ITS ASS!!!

But don't calm down, AGITATE UP!!! Explode into a new plateau!

Or continue the cycle, how frustrating is that!!!

(P.S. Image from - http://divulged.deviantart.com/art/Frustration-Aggression-127442332 )

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Just Say NO!!! I WANT THIS!!!


Unless you can say NO, a YES means nothing, it is meaningless. It has no Power or Significance. In fact, it is unkind because you are not being truthful with that person. You are misleading that person to think something is one way and it is NOT.

Only when you can say NO, does a YES honor what you are answering.

Ask yourself WHY I am saying YES? or No for that matter?

Your choices are your life, your direction, your boundaries, they SHAPE who you are and how you are seen. The weaker, more wishy washy, more undefined your likes and dislikes, your choices, your tastes are, the less people know who you are, and the less they will have to go by to decide if you are someone they want to deal with in the future and HOW they deal with you in the future.

IF you are ALWAYS accommodating, you will be relegated to the "OTHER" bin. Since you DON'T have a true voiced known opinion or preference, you will NOT be considered in the direction people choose or the choices they make, you're gonna go along with what ever happens anyway, SO, the squeaky wheel will be oiled first. AND if the oil runs out, it wasn't important to you anyway, RIGHT? :/

So!

SAY NO!!! Really!!! AND tell people what you LIKE, WANT, DESIRE, HATE, DISLIKE, INDIFFERENT ABOUT!!! They will appreciate it! They HATE making the decisions all the time! You will be seen, NOT as a pain BUT as a LEADER! A Strong willed, opinionated person who KNOWS what they LIKE and even more important, what you DON'T LIKE!

Now, you could go to an extreme and be a pain in the ass BUT ya know, that's still better than being Capt. WUSSY. An arrogant demanding ass "may" be disliked (Donald Trump) BUT often still get's what they want and is seen as strong, powerful and confident.

I was just in an acting class that said being liked is the booby prize!!! You don't get what you really desire in your life, BUT you sure made those other people feel passively warm and indifferent about you!!! YAY!!!

Every time you passively allow others to get their way, they start to form an opinion about you. And it's not PRETTY! It's not, "WOW, what a caring, accommodating and caring person"... They may say thank you but at a low or HIGH level, they become programmed that YOU can be manipulated, YOU are a follower and if they are getting to CHOOSE, then they are the leader. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE THE LEADER, SO THEY WILL RESENT YOUR PASSIVE OFFER FOR THEM TO MAKE THE CHOICE!!! A lot of people typically don't want to take on the the leadership role. They feel stressed enough in their day to day life that they don't want ONE MORE THING TO HAVE TO DO!!! When you choose, you actually relieve them of that responsibility. AND THEY WILL BE THRILLED and look at you in a very positive light.

Think about how you feel when you walk into something and it's already handled... SO HANDLE IT!

JUST SAY NO!!! Or don't even give them a chance, step up and honor yourself!!!

I'm just say'n...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Thread from FaceBook started by me republishing a Deepak Chopra Quote – We CAN be DEEP!!! :)

Deepak_Chopra:

Since the world is a reflection, the only way to transform the other is through one's own transformation.

Top of Form


David Stinnett

We Are ALL ONE.... however since most of us do not fully embody this Absolute.... we do well to cultivate Patience, Compassion and Simplicity.

Lauren Simon

absolutely!

Barbara Bee Dietrich

I think this is exactly what I had to hear this morning! Thank you!

ACE

I am working on getting the extended family to accept this.

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

ACE: Get yourself to accept it first... ;)

Adam Kaplan

This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:
"We're all the same being and that's the problem - we can only move as fast as we all can move...You can hear this message only as purely as I am pure. That's the way it boils down. I can resonate with you in the highest place I am. So: I can do nothing for you but work on myself...You can do nothing for me but work on yourself!"
- Ram Dass, from "Be Here Now"

ACE

Sam, I have accepted it, but they hound away and I don't live thousands of miles away. so it is slightly more difficult, but doable

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

Just love them more... You have to heal the damage before new movement. Show them by example & love them as they are before they will consider a new way...

ACE

They must be willing to be healed and acknowledge that there is a need.

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

As long as you put the attention on them, they will sense that you are judging them and experiencing them as other than perfect. There is an automatic defense to this which puts up a wall of protection that does not allow anything new in. When you stop WANTING them to change and just love them completely for who they are, without any underlying NEED for them to be different from how they are, and do this ongoingly, without checking in to SEE if it's WORKING? There is nothing to work, if there is, and then you WANT them to change. Allow them to be and work on yourself. That is the only way. You are the only one you can work on anyway. AND a lot of the time, the more loving and more your life grows in a positive way, others, will feel the freedom and curiosity to dip their toe in your pool of bliss.

ACE

I embrace and practice most of what you say, but i find it quite interesting that the majority of people I know who have all these wonderful ideas on change, live VERY far from their family of origin which makes it easy to form a concept of reality that is in fact not real. When you are involved in CONSTANT and NECESSARY involvement your perception is very different than when you are at a distance.

Adam Kaplan

Felicia, I believe the reason for this is that the family is the first source of much social and interpersonal teaching, and these are often teachings that must be unlearned as one turns inward. If you want to bring about change within, I feel that it often helps to remove yourself from doubting, fearful, or contradictory voices until your inner voice becomes stronger. (As there is no separation between inner and outer world, doubting voices will resonate with the parts of you that are still doubtful and fearful.) A good friend of mine put it this way: "I have to maintain a separate fortress in my mind, where I can go to figure things out for myself." As a person grows and becomes calmer, more loving, and more accepting of how it all is, I believe they can then return to a close relationship with people who see things differently, and turn their inner world outward. During the entire process, there is only love. You can distance yourself gently & harmoniously, and still love.

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

I agree... The difficulty is... do you let their actions (energy/vibrations) influence you or your actions (energy/vibrations) influence them. Our lives, our habits, our learned ways get triggered very easily. You have to believe in your energy so much that their energy does not change yours. They will KEEP trying to BE the way they are, if that bothers you, they just changed YOUR energy. That's way I say keep loving them, that is the energy that will ALWAYS win, IF you do NOT doubt it. Again, if you get upset, you doubted it. And if you have a time frame, that's not gonna help either. It can take seconds, it can take years.

Gandhi - "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win"

It's NOT easy... but it gets easier...

Trust your love and don't let them make you doubt it... Everyone's life is at stake. (no pressure) ;)

ACE

Agreed, it is much easier and i am very sure of my actions and behaviors. I am just curious how often all of you spend time with your families of origin. Sam I know you live far, This makes all of this much easier. these ideas worked when others handle the necessities of aging parents, or you pay others to do it. elderly/frail physically/mentally sick family members make these ideas more difficult to implement. I would hope that you all acknowledge this

Adam Kaplan

I acknowledge that this is the case.

I live within 45 minutes of my parents, and within 10 minutes of my grandma, and see all of them every month or so. My parents have been pretty supportive (and more than a little terrified) regarding where my life is going, but I have been nothing but open and honest with them at every step. Hopefully they see me becoming more easygoing, and all I can hope to be is an expression of where I presently am on the path of sadhana.

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

Yes... NOT easy...
Now YOU know MY MOM!!!
When I NEEDED her to support my acting... It was FOOLISHNESS...
When I stopped NEEDING her to LOVE my CHOICES... and Just LOVED her...
1.She came to see me in Pirates of Penzance. Reaction "ALL you people do this for free" - acknowledgment that I'm not the only lune.
2. She came to see me play Sancho in Man of La Mancha - When cast members asked what she thought, she said "He's getting better" The cast was AGHAST, I was amazed, that is a RAVE... she was actually critiquing my acting NOT ignoring it.
3. She came to see me in a Original Show called "Prospect Park", I was 29, playing a 65 yr old New Stand guy. (I got an award for my performance :) ) After she saw the show she said "You are very talented, I am proud of you as an actor and you could make it" I WAS FLOORED!!! And I think this happened because I stopped looking for her approval. What ever it was, it was NOT what I had ever seen before... AND YOU KNOW MY INCREDIBLY NEGATIVE MOM, RAISED IN THE GREAT DEPRESSION IN NY CITY.

So... Just make yourself happy! AND Healthy. Lead my example... and don't need them to change, that'll drive ya NUTZ!

ACE

I do exactly as I please Now BUT they still put on the pressure. Then they try it on my children. i raise them as my husband and I see fit. They are young adults. We make our own rules and the families never get it. I always had TONS of approval and enjoyed it. Now I don't care if they approve or not, I just want them to not comment. Your mom enjoyed being negative and my mom is starting to do that as well. In your moms defense she had GREAT reason to be filled with sadness and regret which I feel is the root of all negativity. As for acting the previous generations will never understand a career with no guarantees.

Adam Kaplan

I didn't know careers with guarantees existed anymore. =)

ACE

A tenured teacher or a nurse. i seem to remember Optician being the choice of some parents, it was your own business. I tell my kids go for a career you will be happy in for a long time and that will support them and their wife and kids. That is my bias and I tell them that. I measure success by happiness. I feel FOR ME happiness meant marriage and kids. They know how I feel, I will love and respect all of the choices they make BUT I really want to be a grandma someday. Sal and i also want them to have a spiritual understanding of the world, what that entails is very complicated. Makes for wonderful convos with 15 and 20 yr olds

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

Never DEFEND something that causes pain! Being a Negative person is NEVER enjoyable. It comes from fear, which is never a good way to be... it's sad... and should NOT be enabled. I know she has had bad things happen, but she cried that she was married, and then she cried that he left her. I went to her 85th birthday party, where she told the story of how dumb ... she was for marrying my father 60 years ago, he's been dead for 45 years. This, in front of their 4 kids who threw her the party.

(OK... Just got caught up... see what you did!) ;)

ohmmmmmmm... ohmmmmmmm...

Rosa Tattoli

"Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no trouble, no hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart" - unknown

It's all I have that I can add to this thread, but I wanted to add something.

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

OH... Career... SHE, the woman raised during the depression, said... "You could make it" - Amazing! This is a person, when someone would call and tell them how much they thought of me, she would tell them they are crazy! LITERALLY!!! That I wasn't attractive enough to make it. REALLY! So, it wasn't based on my ability, she was just not a fan. And now she is! Go figure.

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

Approval... Disapproval... Negativity...

Story:
A man heard of a monk, who could NOT be insulted.
He asked the monk if he could try. The monk readily agreed. The man spent 48 hrs non stop, insulting the monk. Attacking his family, his virility, his look, his smell, his intelligence, his ideas... On and on... and the Monk just sat there and smiled. Afterward, the man stopped, acknowledging that the monk was impervious to insults. The man said "I admire your ability to not be affected by insults BUT what type of man can sit back and allow such a thing to happen, is this a true man" The monk said to the Man, "Son, May I ask you a question. If someone gives you a gift and you choose to not accept it, whose gift is it?" The man thought, "Then, they would still own the gift". The monk continued "So, if someone insults you, and you choose not to accept it, whose insult is it".

Shaahin Cheyene

Won't be long ill Deepak starts to RT you! :)

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

SC: ♥ oh... pishawwww....

William Christopher Ford

Awesome.

DUCE

I had big-time problems with my boss -- I felt she was treating me the way her father treated her, nothing I could do was good enough. My yoga therapist said, drop all the human drama, just relate to her as Light relating to Light. The results were/are beautiful and now I enjoy working for her.

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

BC: ♥ 2 ♥ : Light 2 Light

William Christopher Ford

An amazing thread! Infinite peace, love, respect, and gratitude to all who contributed!

Samwise Perlmutter Aaron

I shall re~read it... And recreate it... And ground it!

DUCE

Definitely worth re-reading

Bottom of Form

Social Balance...



There is a game we play, it has to do with being "in", "popular", "important", "desired", "cool". I am, by nurture, a loner. When I was a child, I was placed in front of a TV and left for untold hours. I found myself repeating commercials in stores when I saw the items, I was never really listened to, so I talked extra to compensate. But the real focus of my single mom of 4 (my father died when I was 10 weeks old) was to hide from society. She didn't like people or at least, the majority of her conversations were of their stupidity. I was a bit confused. TV was NOT about hiding, it was entertaining and informative. It showed families trying to be good. It showed consequence for bad behavior and reward for good. It made being loved and popular look not only really good but fun and a natural goal.

But, I was also shy. If I didn't know people, I was afraid of doing something wrong. Or looking bad, not realizing that shy never looks good. But I'm also not sure where this came from. Between TV & really mostly being ignored, I'm not sure how this hyper, TV programmed young person got scared? I do know my mom would joke how I would go up to people and ask "are you friendly". She thought it was cute. I, of course, wanted to know why would I utter such a tentative phrase? I tell myself, something must have happened or I was told NOT everyone is friendly so make sure before you try to make friends or I got hurt by someone I innocently tried to be friendly with and was told "Well, it's your fault, you didn't make sure they were friendly first".

My mom was big on blaming everything wrong in the world on everyone else but herself BUT especially her kids. And If there was an issue between her kids, I was wrong, being the baby.

Are You Friendly?

I got Divorced about 7 years ago, (not friendly) and have been trying to fill in the gaps in my social personality. I also, am trying to revisit the structure and transform it. I don't think I needed to trash the whole thing but some parts of the structure and even parts of the foundation do not properly support the person I aspire to be or generate the experiences I long to experience.

Balance. In being social, I tousle with the concept of sharing. Combining my old motor mouth and shy tendencies, when I feel I am given the slightest grace to share, words pour out of me like a bulging damn that has burst.

It is a strange combo (but also common) people see me as fun yet disconnected. Those who have opened up their ears, who I think may really want to hear. Get long diatribes of passionate, expressive, sincere babble.

I have made it a point the last few years to force myself to go out a LOT!!! This is really been connected with more private events connected with An even that happens every year called Burning Man (worth a google search). There are lots of local people who do this event, so I've met a lot of people. And it seems I appear to be VERY active!!! I've enjoyed the people I've met, I've grown from the experiences, many wonderful experiences and opportunities have presented themselves to me because of me putting myself out there.

But there needs to be ~Balance and ~Focus.

~Balance is NOT just ignoring life and individual events in order to do GROUP events.

~Focus is NOT fluttering away being distracted by another bright shinny or moving off a connection due to fear of overstaying my welcome .You don't wanna be like 3day old fish and house guests BUT you do need to take the time to connect and let that person know you are interested in a further/future connection, not just a shallow transient brush of fate.

I typically move on because I either think they are not interested in me in any deeper way -or- I am going to be perceived as too attentive, which can be interpreted at NEEDY, which is NOT a good way to be perceived.

BUT I am often awkward. I do NOT have the background of comfortable social interaction. I do find that a lot of people find me quite pleasant and even adorable! :) BUT I also don't CONNECT and find out which peeps would LIKE to know me more... I'm OK if they don't (mostly, I'm human and have that hurt 5 year old lurking... but I'm pretty good at knowing, I have a lot of peeps I play with already and one more or less is no biggie) and It's sad if they do want more and I walk away. A missed connection is just a sad thing, you never know what great adventures will now be missed for both parties involved.

SO...

I've TIPPED the scale in a really major way and am looking to now, let the waters find equilibrium. Gonna try not to pull back but I think it is a must to find equilibrium. Sometimes you have to lean to and fro before you can find true center.

So...

I am not hiding, but I am NOT diving in head first as I have been for the past 4 years!

I will communicate one on one, no mass for a while...

I...
Shall...
Choose...

and find my deeper, grounded and clearer connection.

A Reminder For Myself, On The Days I Question The Difference I Make In The World…

I received this when someone said something nice about me online, I went offline and thanked her and asked why the sweet encouragement.

This was the response…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were my friend in my darkest moments. Whether you knew what was going on in my life at the time or not, you're one of the few people that did not reject me and write me out of the "family". You have always welcomed me with open arms, and made an effort to stay in touch and be my friend even when I was not all that interested in people. Its small things like that, that go remembered. You always caused me to feel as if I was loved. You gave me hope and helped me learn to trust humans, just by being kind. You never come across as judgmental, even if you did or do judge me, I would never know it ;)

I know we are not super close, but we don't need to be in order for you to have such a huge impact on another's life. In fact, I think we have only met a handful of times and spoken another handful... and yet, you stand out among the 8 million people that have come into my life over the last few years. Don't forget for a second what a jewel you are to this community, and the huge contribution you make to the universe. If everyone spoke and acted with kindness, I think much of the sadness and fear of truly living would lift. You're the headlight in the fog. Much love my friend.

Bless up,
##########

So, be kind! Really… :') You never know who you will touch… It may be me!

It can take so little effort and may mean so much.

And you never know how your unkindness or distance could really add to someone's pain.