Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Voice NOT warmed up and since it was late, I didn't sing fully as not to disturb the neighbors, so not as strong a vocal as it will have in a fuller produced version to come.
Blaming the past just wastes the future
Begging for change, just says that I'm broke
I gotta break the me that's broken
Time to get serious and get the joke
Why do I always go too far, and never far enough
I never seem to have it all, though I have too much stuff
I say I hate playing these games, but only when I lose
Complain I didn't have a choice, after I finally choose...
The world is a stage
But I'm not a player
I write, cast, direct and star
and choose my role
Thursday, August 18, 2011
I also like the concept of "Impact", your actions (an inactions) have an Impact, saying "I am just doing what I need to do, and if others don't get it, that's their problem" is not the most enlightened stance. Do what you need to do AND take responsibility for the Impact is has on the world around you. You truly own your actions when you honestly and authentically consider and deal with the impact. This is good for all involved, especially you.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
A friend just said on Facebook (of course):
"You know something is wrong when "7/8 minutes each" seems like such a large time commitment."
I responded(and added more depth here):
It is such an interesting sign of the times when, as an actor/musician/performance artist, you use to have to get friends to run from work, grab dinner and make it to your show for 2 hours or more...
And that was hard but a percent always came and supported, but that number dwindles over years (decades) of performances.
Now you say, don't leave the comfort of your home or office (or phone) and watch something for 4 to 8 minutes and it can be like pulling teeth.
We constantly find ourselves on FB or Emails telling us, look at this, this is cool, check it out... and we are off to see it, we don't wanna be left out of the know or the fun! But when you are asked by someone to see their work, it is not a recommendation, it sounds and feels very different, it is a request, it feels like a favor or commitment.
Now, you, the Askee, HOPE when you send them there, it will be pleasure. You hope they will share it, like it's something cool they found and can take credit for being the first on their block to discover this gem. That is when things go viral.
People will share a box sets of a 7 season series and they will watch it in a month... that could be 50, 100 or more hours... and people do it.
They plan their nights around being home to see "Lost" or some reality show but 8 minutes on demand seems like just one more task, sucking up our precious free time. And the way a lot of us run around today, it is.
I am not bothered, I am just sociologically fascinated. There is an intrusive quality when you are asked by someone to look at their work vs. someone wanting to share a FIND.
It's odd, I give out flyers for my Web Series on the Subway when I go to work (Yes, LA has a Subway System, at least until the next BIG ONE) and once they realize I am not asking for money, they "Thank You" for sharing it. I don't know if it is that, they are so relieved that you don't want money, they are just being polite or they actually are looking at the flyer as something to brighten their day, they may WANT a distraction.
We have figured out a way to minimize the disruption of peoples lives to see SOME of our work, from a 4/5 hr commitment drops to a 10 minutes or less. But like when you complain about computer taking 40 seconds to do something you want instantaneously, you forget this use to take an hour 10 years ago and a week 20 years ago. There is that visceral reaction of giving up your time, like it was going to interrupt your free time by 5+ hours, because it use to.
I just hope more people start to find Legends of Atoll a FIND.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Possible is a forgiving word... it gives you space to go forward in creation and if it does not happen now... it was NEVER a MUST or a HAVE TO... It is Possible... not Probable, not Definite... so at every given moment, you may look at the new facts and resources and say... "At this moment, what is NEWLY Possible"... and then embark in that direction... Possibility gives way to action... Impossibility kills movement and inertia. We can all list the things in the world that suck and are Impossible... there is no great skill in that, we are all experts in that... Now looking for what is possible, is the spark that lights fires.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Why do we fear things that are NOT innately scary?
I was passing a funeral... and I started thinking, as people are apt to do when we think about death. At some point, in the hopefully far off future, we will cease to exist (at least in this realm...). Nothing we created or had not created will matter to US. It's like shaking an etch-a-sketch and then throwing it away. That is what is! That is the final reality of it all.
We get to play in this world once, and when it's game over, we're done. We may leave a high score but, that really has no significance after we're gone. In fact, nothing is significant to an individual, it may FEEL that way but when it is done, that's it.
So, why do we fear simple things like human interaction. Like freely talking to people randomly. Rejection? Confrontation? Discomfort? Really! Every powerful growth that has occured in your life has most likely come from some relationship & every unrealized plateau is from isolation, avoidance or disconnect that you have created or accepted.
I have a deep fear of first contact, and this fear either keeps me quiet, makes my conversations awkward or I over talk in an effort to GET them to GET ME before my time limit is up.
I lose my charm. I am told, by my friends, that I have a charm or at least an interesting way about me that most people enjoy. BUT this fear either obstructs this flow or I move quickly away from connecting so I do not have to participate in the dance. If I am the jester or the MC, I am not personally involved, so I can be very charming, helpful and NOT involved.
I am much better than I have been...
BUT there was a time, be it brief, when I had experienced a powerful EGO presence. I was working in an amusement park. I had been hired as one of the 8 street performers for the park... a CLOWN! As an 18 year old, still in high school, performing in a huge amusement park, it was powerful to feel like an accomplished and acknowledged performer. I started walking up to random woman and introducing myself and talking them up and asking them out. I HAD NEVER DONE THIS... asked out a girl, REALLY, just seemed like they wouldn't be interested? But in about a week I had talked to 11 girls (I was 18, so I was a boy) about having a date and 7 had enthusiastically accepted. And the others were fine and flattered. This was amazing to me, friends would dare me to speak to woman and I just did it! No issues! No Concerns! No Expectations! Just Boldness and Bravado and a big SMILE!!! It was GOOD and lasted less than 3 weeks...
There was a really BAD experience during a date that traumatized me for YEARS (I guess still today...) No death or Injury but it really DASHED my world at the time, shocking me back into a state of perpetual apprehension.
Now I've been in relationships and a 10 year marriage since BUT I have never felt that relaxed and open to put myself out ever since... And I always wonder what my world would have been if I just continued in that playfully cocky direction....
But I digress (duh... it's me)
THE POINT OF THIS BLOG WAS...
What am I/we scared of? None of these petty concerns will make a difference the moment after demise... So why do these nagging neural pathways have such a hold on us? Why? That is the question 97% of the world wrestles with.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Things we do are SOMETHING, they effect our lives... even if you don't think of them as something, they ARE... They facilitate something, either towards something new or repair something existing or just keep things going as they are.
Now, the trick is, noticing what SOMETHINGS you are currently doing and are they helping or hindering your life.
Computer stuff is SOMETHING . Even if you use them for fun, they are being used to serve some purpose for the user.
Many people say that the internet and online communities keep people from true interaction. That may be true for those who use it to escape or avoid live social interaction for many reasons including anxiety and fantasy. Flight As well as Fight is just a mouse click away. THAT is what THOSE people are using if for...
But there is also the use of online communities as a management tool. Arranging get-togethers with friends or like minded communities could never be possible at this scale or with such ease as is possible today. Finding like minded people, people with similar interests, people already meeting and you can find them and meet them IN THE REAL WORLD!
If you sleep all day, that is something...
If you whine all day, that is something...
If you work out all day, that is something...
If you read all day, that is something...
I think you get the idea...
BUT do you see that these SOMETHINGS create your destiny... or at least contribute to what is a possible destiny...
SO! What is your contribution to your destiny... What are the SOMETHINGS you do NOW and look at where these SOMETHINGS have got you up to now... AND do you want more of this?
BE AWARE, BE RESPONSIBLE and KNOW if you think the world seems to continuously throw you curve balls... STOP PLAYING BASEBALL, it's not the only game in town -or- take it upon yourself to LEARN HOW TO HIT CURVE BALLS!!!But whatever you do, if you're gonna play the game... PLAY THE GAME!!!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Watch it animated on youtube
I took some acting courses over the weekend, thanks to my AMAZING friend Will which had a profound effect on me.
The idea of removing the NEED from my intention is SO powerful. Even the need to see if they are happy with what I have given them.
ALL THERE IS, IS TO GIVE!
When you can remove ANY YOU out of the equation, there is a profound energy that you have. That energy, that authentic presence of caring about the other is communicated before you ever utter a word. AND it is so appreciated. People are so guarded in life because there is so much THEY need and so many people approach them with NEED energy that they just close up, trying to keep the little that they have!
These people will look at you like you are from another planet, a planet they want to move to. There will be a true appreciation of you and a fascination on who this GIVING person is.
And ya can't fake it... at least for any length of time... Cause they will be looking for the chink in the armor... and they will find it.
And if ya fake it, YOU WONT ENJOY IT OR ENJOY THE AUTHENTIC JOY THERE IS IN IT.
So... Give... and when/if you feel the NEED... Catch it and KILL IT!!! Eventually, you will be giving without NEED and when you are NEEDLESS... That is when you will authentically GET!
Watch it animated on youtube
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Frustration is hesitation pushed to where it transforms into anger. Push harder, transcend, break through & act or continue serving your sentence.
I am on a lot of caffeine at the moment and PUMPED so forgive the rough edge!!!
I have an acting teacher (Acting classes have become a new source of profundity in my life) who says, "people come to him and say that they are frustrated about their careers" and he says "the problem is, you are NOT frustrated enough, if you were, you'd get off your ass a do something!!!".
WOW!!! This is a fascinating thought. I am so NOT prone to PUSHING the upset! I usually try to channel the energy into a more progressive, nurturing, engaging, responsible...
FUCK IT... I'M FRUSTRATED AND I REALLY NEED TO PUSH THOUGHT IT!!! Not passively aggressively wimp out! I really do believe in moving into a positive space and all that BUT NOT at the expense of dissipating the natural energy of PASSION!!!
There is an underlying truth to frustration, there is SOMETHING that SEEMS WRONG!!! Now, I have learned that anything you are UPSET about, you COMPLAIN about, is really smothering something that is GOOD! Something that you are driven nuts about because it is NOT happening, or IS happening... so you get angry! You find yourself whining to others or yourself, stewing in your sour juices...
BUT there is a use for this energy, it can actually be used for a purpose, it can be channeled to get your ass in gear... IN FACT IT MUST!!! To calm down is to disrespect that GOOD!!!
REMEMBER, there is GOOD under that seemingly bitter icing!!! NOW, figure out what that GOOD IS AND KICK IT'S ASS INTO GEAR, RUN TOWARD THE THING THAT'S SEEMS TO BE "BAD" and GO BERSERKER RAGE ON ITS ASS!!!
But don't calm down, AGITATE UP!!! Explode into a new plateau!
Or continue the cycle, how frustrating is that!!!
(P.S. Image from - http://divulged.deviantart.com/art/Frustration-Aggression-127442332 )
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Unless you can say NO, a YES means nothing, it is meaningless. It has no Power or Significance. In fact, it is unkind because you are not being truthful with that person. You are misleading that person to think something is one way and it is NOT.
Only when you can say NO, does a YES honor what you are answering.
Ask yourself WHY I am saying YES? or No for that matter?
Your choices are your life, your direction, your boundaries, they SHAPE who you are and how you are seen. The weaker, more wishy washy, more undefined your likes and dislikes, your choices, your tastes are, the less people know who you are, and the less they will have to go by to decide if you are someone they want to deal with in the future and HOW they deal with you in the future.
IF you are ALWAYS accommodating, you will be relegated to the "OTHER" bin. Since you DON'T have a true voiced known opinion or preference, you will NOT be considered in the direction people choose or the choices they make, you're gonna go along with what ever happens anyway, SO, the squeaky wheel will be oiled first. AND if the oil runs out, it wasn't important to you anyway, RIGHT? :/
SAY NO!!! Really!!! AND tell people what you LIKE, WANT, DESIRE, HATE, DISLIKE, INDIFFERENT ABOUT!!! They will appreciate it! They HATE making the decisions all the time! You will be seen, NOT as a pain BUT as a LEADER! A Strong willed, opinionated person who KNOWS what they LIKE and even more important, what you DON'T LIKE!
Now, you could go to an extreme and be a pain in the ass BUT ya know, that's still better than being Capt. WUSSY. An arrogant demanding ass "may" be disliked (Donald Trump) BUT often still get's what they want and is seen as strong, powerful and confident.
I was just in an acting class that said being liked is the booby prize!!! You don't get what you really desire in your life, BUT you sure made those other people feel passively warm and indifferent about you!!! YAY!!!
Every time you passively allow others to get their way, they start to form an opinion about you. And it's not PRETTY! It's not, "WOW, what a caring, accommodating and caring person"... They may say thank you but at a low or HIGH level, they become programmed that YOU can be manipulated, YOU are a follower and if they are getting to CHOOSE, then they are the leader. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE THE LEADER, SO THEY WILL RESENT YOUR PASSIVE OFFER FOR THEM TO MAKE THE CHOICE!!! A lot of people typically don't want to take on the the leadership role. They feel stressed enough in their day to day life that they don't want ONE MORE THING TO HAVE TO DO!!! When you choose, you actually relieve them of that responsibility. AND THEY WILL BE THRILLED and look at you in a very positive light.
Think about how you feel when you walk into something and it's already handled... SO HANDLE IT!
JUST SAY NO!!! Or don't even give them a chance, step up and honor yourself!!!
I'm just say'n...