Unless you can say NO, a YES means nothing, it is meaningless. It has no Power or Significance. In fact, it is unkind because you are not being truthful with that person. You are misleading that person to think something is one way and it is NOT.
Only when you can say NO, does a YES honor what you are answering.
Ask yourself WHY I am saying YES? or No for that matter?
Your choices are your life, your direction, your boundaries, they SHAPE who you are and how you are seen. The weaker, more wishy washy, more undefined your likes and dislikes, your choices, your tastes are, the less people know who you are, and the less they will have to go by to decide if you are someone they want to deal with in the future and HOW they deal with you in the future.
IF you are ALWAYS accommodating, you will be relegated to the "OTHER" bin. Since you DON'T have a true voiced known opinion or preference, you will NOT be considered in the direction people choose or the choices they make, you're gonna go along with what ever happens anyway, SO, the squeaky wheel will be oiled first. AND if the oil runs out, it wasn't important to you anyway, RIGHT? :/
So!
SAY NO!!! Really!!! AND tell people what you LIKE, WANT, DESIRE, HATE, DISLIKE, INDIFFERENT ABOUT!!! They will appreciate it! They HATE making the decisions all the time! You will be seen, NOT as a pain BUT as a LEADER! A Strong willed, opinionated person who KNOWS what they LIKE and even more important, what you DON'T LIKE!
Now, you could go to an extreme and be a pain in the ass BUT ya know, that's still better than being Capt. WUSSY. An arrogant demanding ass "may" be disliked (Donald Trump) BUT often still get's what they want and is seen as strong, powerful and confident.
I was just in an acting class that said being liked is the booby prize!!! You don't get what you really desire in your life, BUT you sure made those other people feel passively warm and indifferent about you!!! YAY!!!
Every time you passively allow others to get their way, they start to form an opinion about you. And it's not PRETTY! It's not, "WOW, what a caring, accommodating and caring person"... They may say thank you but at a low or HIGH level, they become programmed that YOU can be manipulated, YOU are a follower and if they are getting to CHOOSE, then they are the leader. AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE THE LEADER, SO THEY WILL RESENT YOUR PASSIVE OFFER FOR THEM TO MAKE THE CHOICE!!! A lot of people typically don't want to take on the the leadership role. They feel stressed enough in their day to day life that they don't want ONE MORE THING TO HAVE TO DO!!! When you choose, you actually relieve them of that responsibility. AND THEY WILL BE THRILLED and look at you in a very positive light.
Think about how you feel when you walk into something and it's already handled... SO HANDLE IT!
JUST SAY NO!!! Or don't even give them a chance, step up and honor yourself!!!
I'm just say'n...
2 comments:
I understand your passion about his issue, I too, want to scream " learn how to say NO!!" to some people. But being forceful or angry is not the way. Discussing the issue may help?
Rayness...
There is no forcefulness in this BLog... Saying No or Yes is jest a choice, neither more or less activated.
IF you yes FEELS obligatory or uncomfortable or doesn't leave you empowered, leaves you resentful or deflated THEN that YES is insincere, forced, maybe even angry.
The point is, to be true to yourself in your responses. OR your responses are just lies and you are creating and building relationships with lies and with people who are comfortable with those lies.
To thine own self be true.
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