Till we read again…

Forgot I had this blog and started Jotting down thoughts, and thought, oh I have a blog.
Heckler

All unwanted attention is just a form of heckling.

Who Are you talking to?

This is not a conversation

And I’m not customer service…

I don’t know you!

We’re not even on the same level!

Hate Funky Town. 

(As a song, not as a concept)

2:45 PM

Why do we let what others do define us?

There is a huge difference between being victimized and being a victim.

People who victimize are shit, but I am never a victim, you don’t get to define me.

Bitterish 

(4:00PM) 

You define you… see others above

Everyone likes the neurotic Jew.

Well not everyone, obviously,

But there’s always enough of a demographic that feels catharsis, connecting with it. We can depend on that to eat. But it’s generational. Every generation likes us, but they like “their” style of neurotic Jew.

You, as a JC,  just have to find your audience Jew Type.

(5:20PM)

I Define Me

Sabotage your Trajectory - may (or not) become Lyrics aka Back to Love

Sabotage Your Trajectory aka Back to Love

We have a vision, that was altered by trauma, which changed our course, speed and trajectory… 

Creating fear of the event which caused the trauma.

So we avoid the event and any action we associate with the event.

When we try to adjust back toward the faint memory of the vision, we react to the trauma and we do whatever we can to dispel the change. 

We have been told that this is self-sabotage, but what we are doing is protecting the trajectory… the attempt to revert to the original and chosen vision's trajectory is determined to be the sabotage to the current course. We NEED to Enthusiastically Sabotage our current trajectory in order to rediscover our original one and get back on course.

We Love our Vision and Trauma has caused us to fear it…once you face and dispell the trauma in our minds, we will course correct back to Love.

"Finding"? CREATE Time (or anything that you want... )

I got a text message today...

"...I feel terrible to keep saying no, let me look at the schedule, I WILL find a time..." It made me think... You don't "find" things, you "create" them... If you keep trying to "find" things, you are limiting your life. Now... that doesn't mean you are not open to "discovering" or "noticing" things in your surrounding... If you have a vision of what you want to have in your life (but fairly general... Joy, Happiness, Playfulness, Family, Friends, Well Being... I like the idea of vision boards for inspiring you but if you have a picture of a Electric BMW and then you have an opportunity to get a TESLA, I don't think you should ignore the TESLA or feel upset that the Universe didn't give you exactly what you wanted)... Then really look in the direction of that vision BUT be open to anything that can help you move toward that thing... and be open to your vision changing, expanding, growing... Sometimes the vision is only a catalyst to get you to the next plateau to see an even more inspiring vision. Life will then always be interesting, fun and intriguing. Often the tools we need to get things done are sitting at our feet while we cry to the sky.

SHARE Your World...

I am Re-Remember the idea of 

SHARING 

aka 

Speaking out loud what I am up to 

and

What is going on in my life... 

...with no expectation of anything BUT also being available for something good to occur

...BEING completely free and open

not caring if anything happens either way

Indifferent to the outcome... (I'd like it but if it didn't happened, that would be fine too, my life is not drastically different either way)

So like today, I was going to go to an electronics store after work...

take about 45 minutes there and back + cost of a USB extension for my new mic set up.

I just figured it couldn't hurt to ask around...

Turns out someone was throwing one out they had no use for it... 

8-D

Amazing (or is it... when it happens as often as it seems... the serendipity or just the openness to the possiblity) 

I could have been quiet and used my time and money and
that would have been fine

BUT

I shared and it had a great result...

just sharing...

I've also been working on "Lean on Me" for my Vocal Lessons...
and never knew the 2nd Verse:

Please,
Swallow your pride,
If I have things
you need to borrow.

For,
no one can fill
those of your needs
that you wont let show.

Pretty cool...

So, share... with no expectations...

At worst, people can know and "share" in your world,
At best, people can contribute...

AND

they will hopefully share back and you can contribute to them...

Pay it forward, backward, sideways, upside, downside, inside, outside...

The Joke (Lyrics/Structure as of 04/03/2013)

Rough late night recording (and mix down) of a new Song kindly listened to and given input to by The Songmakers Group at The Songwriting School of Los Angeles, so I could craft it.
Voice NOT warmed up and since it was late, I didn't sing fully as not to disturb the neighbors, so not as strong a vocal as it will have in a fuller produced version to come.

"The Joke" on SoundCloud
A

Running away, won't bring me closer

Hiding down a hole's like waiting in a grave
I've gotta chase the things that scare me
Get off my high horse, and Just be Brave

A

Reasons will never get me answers
Locking the doors just leaves me in jail
I must embrace the ones who left me
Light up my light house, and then set sail

B

Sometimes, I'm alone

Sometimes, I am lonely
I really just gotta stop,
confusing them

B

What’s next, I must earn
The best crash and burn,
That’s how they learn
that's how we get to grow

A
Blaming the past just wastes the future
Begging for change, just says that I'm broke
I gotta break the me that's broken
Time to get serious and get the joke

C
Why do I always go too far, and never far enough
I never seem to have it all, though I have too much stuff
I say I hate playing these games, but only when I lose
Complain I didn't have a choice, after I finally choose...

A
instrumental

B
The world is a stage
But I'm not a player
I write, cast, direct and star
and choose my role

A

it's no rehearsal,
no understudy

the curtains rinsing

the world is watching

It's kinda funny

from joy to bloody

It's all My Show

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In the NAME of LOVE... Use your own damn name...

A friend commented:

"The ways that people hurt one another in the name of love... Well, it's just simply unforgivable."

My first response...

Love is getting very annoyed with so many using him/her as a scapegoat... Use your own damn name!

And my follow up...

I like a phrase "What would love do now?" As, if Love was a living being, and was imbued with all the qualities of love, what actions would it take... Do that. Not always easy but a nice place to start from. I like it better than WWJD (which is still pretty spiffy).

I also like the concept of "Impact", your actions (an inactions) have an Impact, saying "I am just doing what I need to do, and if others don't get it, that's their problem" is not the most enlightened stance. Do what you need to do AND take responsibility for the Impact is has on the world around you. You truly own your actions when you honestly and authentically consider and deal with the impact. This is good for all involved, especially you.

Buddy can you spare 4 to 8 minutes...

A friend just said on Facebook (of course):
"You know something is wrong when "7/8 minutes each" seems like such a large time commitment."

I responded(and added more depth here):

Totally cool...

It is such an interesting sign of the times when, as an actor/musician/performance artist, you use to have to get friends to run from work, grab dinner and make it to your show for 2 hours or more...

And that was hard but a percent always came and supported, but that number dwindles over years (decades) of performances.

Now you say, don't leave the comfort of your home or office (or phone) and watch something for 4 to 8 minutes and it can be like pulling teeth.

We constantly find ourselves on FB or Emails telling us, look at this, this is cool, check it out... and we are off to see it, we don't wanna be left out of the know or the fun! But when you are asked by someone to see their work, it is not a recommendation, it sounds and feels very different, it is a request, it feels like a favor or commitment.

Now, you, the Askee, HOPE when you send them there, it will be pleasure. You hope they will share it, like it's something cool they found and can take credit for being the first on their block to discover this gem. That is when things go viral.

People will share a box sets of a 7 season series and they will watch it in a month... that could be 50, 100 or more hours... and people do it.

They plan their nights around being home to see "Lost" or some reality show but 8 minutes on demand seems like just one more task, sucking up our precious free time. And the way a lot of us run around today, it is.

I am not bothered, I am just sociologically fascinated. There is an intrusive quality when you are asked by someone to look at their work vs. someone wanting to share a FIND.

It's odd, I give out flyers for my Web Series on the Subway when I go to work (Yes, LA has a Subway System, at least until the next BIG ONE) and once they realize I am not asking for money, they "Thank You" for sharing it. I don't know if it is that, they are so relieved that you don't want money, they are just being polite or they actually are looking at the flyer as something to brighten their day, they may WANT a distraction.

We have figured out a way to minimize the disruption of peoples lives to see SOME of our work, from a 4/5 hr commitment drops to a 10 minutes or less. But like when you complain about computer taking 40 seconds to do something you want instantaneously, you forget this use to take an hour 10 years ago and a week 20 years ago. There is that visceral reaction of giving up your time, like it was going to interrupt your free time by 5+ hours, because it use to.

I just hope more people start to find Legends of Atoll a FIND.

Namaste.

Someone asked what IS possible...

Possible is a forgiving word... it gives you space to go forward in creation and if it does not happen now... it was NEVER a MUST or a HAVE TO... It is Possible... not Probable, not Definite... so at every given moment, you may look at the new facts and resources and say... "At this moment, what is NEWLY Possible"... and then embark in that direction... Possibility gives way to action... Impossibility kills movement and inertia. We can all list the things in the world that suck and are Impossible... there is no great skill in that, we are all experts in that... Now looking for what is possible, is the spark that lights fires.

When It's done... No matter what you said...

Why do we fear things that are NOT innately scary?

I was passing a funeral... and I started thinking, as people are apt to do when we think about death. At some point, in the hopefully far off future, we will cease to exist (at least in this realm...). Nothing we created or had not created will matter to US. It's like shaking an etch-a-sketch and then throwing it away. That is what is! That is the final reality of it all.

We get to play in this world once, and when it's game over, we're done. We may leave a high score but, that really has no significance after we're gone. In fact, nothing is significant to an individual, it may FEEL that way but when it is done, that's it.

So, why do we fear simple things like human interaction. Like freely talking to people randomly. Rejection? Confrontation? Discomfort? Really! Every powerful growth that has occured in your life has most likely come from some relationship & every unrealized plateau is from isolation, avoidance or disconnect that you have created or accepted.

I have a deep fear of first contact, and this fear either keeps me quiet, makes my conversations awkward or I over talk in an effort to GET them to GET ME before my time limit is up.

I lose my charm. I am told, by my friends, that I have a charm or at least an interesting way about me that most people enjoy. BUT this fear either obstructs this flow or I move quickly away from connecting so I do not have to participate in the dance. If I am the jester or the MC, I am not personally involved, so I can be very charming, helpful and NOT involved.

How silly!
I am much better than I have been...

BUT there was a time, be it brief, when I had experienced a powerful EGO presence. I was working in an amusement park. I had been hired as one of the 8 street performers for the park... a CLOWN! As an 18 year old, still in high school, performing in a huge amusement park, it was powerful to feel like an accomplished and acknowledged performer. I started walking up to random woman and introducing myself and talking them up and asking them out. I HAD NEVER DONE THIS... asked out a girl, REALLY, just seemed like they wouldn't be interested? But in about a week I had talked to 11 girls (I was 18, so I was a boy) about having a date and 7 had enthusiastically accepted. And the others were fine and flattered. This was amazing to me, friends would dare me to speak to woman and I just did it! No issues! No Concerns! No Expectations! Just Boldness and Bravado and a big SMILE!!! It was GOOD and lasted less than 3 weeks...

There was a really BAD experience during a date that traumatized me for YEARS (I guess still today...) No death or Injury but it really DASHED my world at the time, shocking me back into a state of perpetual apprehension.

Now I've been in relationships and a 10 year marriage since BUT I have never felt that relaxed and open to put myself out ever since... And I always wonder what my world would have been if I just continued in that playfully cocky direction....

But I digress (duh... it's me)

THE POINT OF THIS BLOG WAS...
What am I/we scared of? None of these petty concerns will make a difference the moment after demise... So why do these nagging neural pathways have such a hold on us? Why? That is the question 97% of the world wrestles with.

Play the GAME!!!

Things we do are SOMETHING, they effect our lives... even if you don't think of them as something, they ARE... They facilitate something, either towards something new or repair something existing or just keep things going as they are.

Now, the trick is, noticing what SOMETHINGS you are currently doing and are they helping or hindering your life.

Computer stuff is SOMETHING . Even if you use them for fun, they are being used to serve some purpose for the user.

Many people say that the internet and online communities keep people from true interaction. That may be true for those who use it to escape or avoid live social interaction for many reasons including anxiety and fantasy. Flight As well as Fight is just a mouse click away. THAT is what THOSE people are using if for...

But there is also the use of online communities as a management tool. Arranging get-togethers with friends or like minded communities could never be possible at this scale or with such ease as is possible today. Finding like minded people, people with similar interests, people already meeting and you can find them and meet them IN THE REAL WORLD!

If you sleep all day, that is something...
If you whine all day, that is something...
If you work out all day, that is something...
If you read all day, that is something...

I think you get the idea...

BUT do you see that these SOMETHINGS create your destiny... or at least contribute to what is a possible destiny...

SO! What is your contribution to your destiny... What are the SOMETHINGS you do NOW and look at where these SOMETHINGS have got you up to now... AND do you want more of this?

BE AWARE, BE RESPONSIBLE and KNOW if you think the world seems to continuously throw you curve balls... STOP PLAYING BASEBALL, it's not the only game in town -or- take it upon yourself to LEARN HOW TO HIT CURVE BALLS!!!

But whatever you do, if you're gonna play the game... PLAY THE GAME!!!